Warning This Topic is NOT For the Femininaly Sensative

So I was watching my show...Real Housewives of Atlanta, and Lisa mentioned she used the NuvaRing and I had a Gyno appointment coming up. So I let the doctor know that I was interested in changing birth control from the pill to the NuvaRing. I should have changed my mind when she said the muthfucka was $50 for one ring, but i inquired with my insurance company and they said I could get 3 for $80...so I'm like damn what a deal....so i get my prescription and head to Kroger. I get to the Kroger pharmacy and that lady tells me that it will be $120 for 3 rings and i get all confused....to get to the point I got one for $40, took it home and put it in. The packaging says specifically "you should not be able to feel the NuvaRing once inserted" so for the first 20 minutes I didn't and then all of a sudden it felt like something was trying to crawl out of me. So I go to the bathroom and what to a see...the little plastic ring sticking out.

SO let me explain this before i go any further...

As you can see from the diagram the Ring should be near the Green writing but it some how ends up near the Black writing. I have no conclusions because they claim that after sex it could fall out but after sex it always ends up in the perfect position for days even forget that it is there. But now I am just done I really think I am just going to go back to the pill, I mean at least with the pill I know it will stay in place and do its job. Well I just wanted to say that cuz it was grinding my gears.

The Death of My Future

If you dont know who this young man is I suggest you turn on a TV, Radio, internet anything and look at it. This is Derrion Albert and this young man was beaten to death last month by a group of teenagers, and yes it was recorded and put on the internet(our generation I guess). Just talkin about this is making me sad and making me want to cry. Please research him for me so you can know why I am saddened. But recently I have been rethinking my desire to move to Chicago and I really think that this has mad my decision for me. I have never really felt this way about these things..I have watched fights on YouTube all the time but this one touched me. It is disgusting how our blck youth are killing one another and no one seems to want to talk...How can I dream of raising my children in a place where they may not live to see 17 y/o. Something needs to be done because if this is the future...the world is in danger....I cant type anymore My eyes are clouded by my tears.

Discussion: My CRACK

Its been a minute since we had one of these, I guess because nothing really seemed that important to me for a while, but yesterday I relapsed from my rehab on my addiction and not I'm going effin crazy. For those of you who don't know I am addicted to "The Sims" and yes it is my crack. I have been a video game whore for years, from the time I got a Super Nintendo,to first time I got on the internet at my parents house, to the first time I bought a computer game (Dark Earth then Tomb Raider),to the PS1,2 and 3 , and all of them have had the same time freezing, life numbing affect on my life. With all those games I eventually got bored not necessarily with the games but with staying up for hours and hours knowing that I have shit to do the next day. But the Sims does something to me. I was up until 4AM this morning playing that damn game knowing I had to wake up at 540AM. Every time I looked at the clock I was saying to myself that "all ill need is a nap" or "I won't be that tired in the morning" but that's how it starts. In the past I have stayed up for 2 and a half days playing and playing the Sims. Not noticing that the sun was back up or that it had ever gone down. So what happened last night was not as bad as the past but its a sign that it can only get worse. The Sims 3 has come along (just like all of the Sims games in the past) and pushed all of my other activities aside,homework,blogging,studying, reading,watching ANTM, watching RHoATL, and all the other things you know I do. I thought I could just play for a little while and then step away from the computer at a reasonable hour but I couldn't. I even stopped to take a shower and came right back. I am sad about my relapse but the game is very fulfilling and a great stress reliever. Well I am trying to stay awake now and this is a struggle. Why do I do these things to myself?

Staying Focused...Not One Of My Strong Suits

So I should be studying for my exam tomorrow but her i am blogging. I wish i could do this more often but this damn school stuff is in the way. I miss sitting around doing nothing because there is nothing that needs to be done. I am so tired of school and it is so hard to stay focused.

What in all of Spanish Harlem is the effin problem

This is what I call 5:06 minutes of child something that should never be doen let alone shown in public...no these are not black children they are little hispanic kids and they are a hot ass mess and I am disgusted with the fat momma and all of the adults that allow this to happen...WTF like really

Pissed....

Dell just screwed me...like really bad...let me tell you my story.


So my homegirl bought me the Sims 3 and anyone who knows me knows I am a Sims fanatic. Well I download the game on my new Dell Inspiron mini 10v. I go to play the game and the computer tells me the graphics card is not found. So at 4 something in the AM I call Dell. And obviously at this time of the morning there is no one on Dell's payroll that speaks English as there first language, But I deal with it. I talk to one person after the next. Then I get to this guy who seems to be helping me but I guess not....

I tell him I need 2GHz and I keep saying I need gigahertz, he is just saying gigz so i figure we r on the same damn page...and we were but this M-effer was in the GB RAM book and I was in the GHz book. So I just spent $45 om 2 GB RAM that I dont need. So i go to try to cancel it but guess what...the people who speak English dont come in until 8AM....BS total BS.....what happened to 24 hour customer service. By the time I get to talk to someone it will be too late to cancel my order.

I would say the money is not an issue but it is if I am getting something I do not want or need...and I still cant play the damn Sims.....

FAIL

The People I Call Friends

I think I have a problem with calling ppl my friends too quickly. Let me tell u about some of the ppl I call my friends.
One of my So Called Friends(SCF) decided it would be a good idea to tell me how they felt they needed an explanation as to why I don't chill with them anymore. When I was pretty sure I told this SCF that I was broke and starving. So all I do is work go to the gym and sleep because I have no money to eat. I didn't say anything when this same asshole stopped talking to me for almost a fucking month.

Then don't get me started on this SCF that does not respond to any of my any kind of messages until they want something and then when I call them out on it they have the fuckin nerve to get upset with me. Really that's how u feel. This person should be lucky they r back in my life period after the emotional confusion they took me thru.

And the new SCF. That was texting me everyday now I don't even get a hey because I told them NO for the first time. The fuck outta here with that little kid shit.

You kno what I'm just done. I am no longer allowing walk-ins into my life. From now on u need 3 references, an appointment for an interview and a fuckin resume.

Feed Me Semore....

So you guys....I have been hungry for the past 2 or 3 days. I am dreaming about food LOL. Friday I swear Walmart is going to hate me. Im going to shop like I have food stamps. I have already made my grocery list now if i can just get everything taken care of all will be well . So continue to pray for me.....Cuz my ribs r touching....

Got Milk???...Dont Spill It

So I heard this story not too long ago but now its on Nancy Grace. A 13 year old girl Kills her step grand father over some GD milk...What kinda shit is that ....Watch the video

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What is the World coming to????!!!!

So I was on one of my fave blogs to follow now...youknowyoudeadazzwrong.blogspot.com and I saw this video that pissed me the fuck off. Watch it then I will say my piece.




OK so why in all the hell can these little girls do this shit. I am a grown ass woman and I dont do this shit...I think it is a fuckin shame that not only was this recorded but it was allowed. With all the little boys around watchin and kids cheering her on....can u say child pornography...fuck outta here

More than ANNOYED...

Why can't I have along day of stupidity that ends in relaxation. That shit never can and apparently never will happen. The more annoyed I am throughout the day the more annoyed I will be by the time I have to lie my head down. I am so sick of money and having to pay bills that I shouldn't have to pay. I am tired of having a broke as man. I love him don't get me wrong but he has given himself way more shit than he can handle finacially and now I am stuck paying half of all of the shit he said he could handle. That gets on my fuckin nerves. I worked more hours this week than he did. I don't get over time and I am trying to keep myself out of debt but I sit here and my credit (because of him) is slowly depleiting. I don't get help with any of the bills he helps to run up but yet and still I am forced to do what I have to do. Fuck that shit. Just fucki it...

*Sigh*

Wat team I don't have one...I don't have friends that die hard for me like I die hard for them and I think that is something I will never get used to so I have to change. I have to make ppl see that I don't wanna b a giver anymore I want to me a sitter. I want to sit and wait for other ppl to do shit and that should b fine but it won't be. I'm sick of calling the bank and getting the rudest person in there on the phone when my money isn't right. I'm sick of giving to my friends just for them to say fuck u until they need something again. And I am tired of life. If I was the suicide type I think this post would be my going away present to the world but since I'm not its just another rant about how my life no matter how simple it may seem is complicated. Shit I want a man who will take care of me and give to me without looking at his bank account. I need friends who want to help me and not just party and drink with me. I need to start over. Because if I could go back to 5 years ago I would have all of that and more because I would do things that make me happy. And right now in my life I am not happy and I damn sure deserve to be.

I Should Be Sleep But...

Well I should be sleep but I just wanna talk. I realized today that what's cute to some is not cute to all. Mind you I am not ugly but I guess I'm not what the average dude would call cute. I hold myself to a high standard and I love the people who r around me and let me kno I am beautiful. But I guess those r just the people who kno me. I feel like I pride myself on not being ugly but it hurts when ppl don't agree that u r cute. I don't kno how many ppl feel me on that but that was on my mind and I think that is why I am still awake. I love the ppl who say I am beautiful but r they just saying that because they kno me or did they think that when they first saw me. IDK. Some ppl like my bestie, my dude and some of my closer friends have told me that they always thought I was beautiful. But now I'm getting sleepy see venting and ranting is better than masturbation if u need to sleep.

But befor I go to sleep I have to say one more thing. Why are we still on the light skinned dark skinned brown skinned thing. Yes I do believe that anything darked that light is often over looked and just like lighter girls we are always assumed to be something other than black if we are pretty of have nice skin or curly hair. Why can't I be black. Black men need to stop downing women. Your preference is your preference but just because I'm brown does not make me ugly. Get with it. Briwn is. Back. I love all od my black sisters and we need to stand together and let these niggas kno that u won't turn us against one another.

Now for Whats on MY Mind

So I sit and I wonder
Soul sits at ease
Wil I make an impact
Or will the world just freeze
Can I make the world see
No because I can't even make you
Know the things I need
For me to do what I want to do
No I'm not happy
But I'm not hurt either
I'm just not in the right place
For me to say that I need you
I care about you
Way more than you kno
But u kno me the G
I can't let those feelings show

WTH!!!!!

Don't u hate being waken by stupidity? Sometimes ppl should just think before they do stuff. Yall don't ever do stuff together but today it takes two ppl to go do something. I had to get that out of my system.

Laying in the Room

I have been up since 1pm and it is now 401 am. I am so lost and have the slightest idea y I am awake. Well it is kinda hot in the house and I am really bored. There is something about my home town that keeps me up all night. When I say there is nothing to do there is totally nothing to do but still I am here,awake and wondering why. Not ony wondering y but knowing that no one will read this until I am fast asleep or unable to do anything but sit somewhere with my mom tomorrow and look at the walls. And don't even get me started on my hair. Every since it started growing I am at a total lose for what I dhould do with it. And I never really have to. Experiment to I am stuck with silly atempts to look cool or at least have way decent. I knew I should have left my raggity hair alone and just let it me bad looking (to me) cuz ppl just say "y did u cut your hair" and when u explain they say " I didn't see anything wrong with it". Well of course u didn't its not like I was going around showing evrybody how bad my hair was breaking off. And don't get me start on my mother's mood swings. Y is she insisting on annoying me or upsetting me. AND Y AM I SO DAMN SENSATIVE? Not to mention I'm here without my boo and nobody I chill with.

So after one day this is turning into a very mediocre visit home and as I get more or less annoyed I will keep u updated.

Annoyed...Oh So Annoyed

So I don't like barbershops. I don't like sitting around a bunch of men. And I look a mess right now. As soon as I got to the country my daddy and my brother wanted me to come with them to the barbershop and walmart. I would rather sit at home. But since I love my brother I came with them. Now I have been here for a hour and I just want to go home. Not to mention my period is on and I should not be around ppl right now. I just want to go home.

WTF!!!!!

The DEVIL is riding me a tryin me today....its like as soon as i get over one problem another problem comes to make my life worse. i just need a break i need a vacation i need MONEY. My life is a mess and its not because i am doing something wrong. I really need a new life. like i dislike people and there are alot of ppl on my SHIT list and they will know it when they see me, cuz when in the FUCK did u start workin all of my shifts....but that is not the point. I'm over it now and I am ready to go to bed.

Growl!!!!!

So i called myself being responsible and signed up for a FREE credit report, and guess what that shit was not free. I went to check my account so i could eat but i have a -$12 in my account because my FREE credit report was fucking $30. so now i am broke until Thursday...so im hungry until thursday. this is the dumbest shit ever. i hate my life. i am very hungry and hunger equals anger... and anger equals headache....so in hungry angers and i have a headache. so FUCK PRIVACY MATTERS 123. and FUCK FREE TRIPLE SCORE .COM...DONT DO IT PPL.

So now that this is off my chest I can breath again I love you all....