Warning This Topic is NOT For the Femininaly Sensative

So I was watching my show...Real Housewives of Atlanta, and Lisa mentioned she used the NuvaRing and I had a Gyno appointment coming up. So I let the doctor know that I was interested in changing birth control from the pill to the NuvaRing. I should have changed my mind when she said the muthfucka was $50 for one ring, but i inquired with my insurance company and they said I could get 3 for $80...so I'm like damn what a deal....so i get my prescription and head to Kroger. I get to the Kroger pharmacy and that lady tells me that it will be $120 for 3 rings and i get all confused....to get to the point I got one for $40, took it home and put it in. The packaging says specifically "you should not be able to feel the NuvaRing once inserted" so for the first 20 minutes I didn't and then all of a sudden it felt like something was trying to crawl out of me. So I go to the bathroom and what to a see...the little plastic ring sticking out.

SO let me explain this before i go any further...

As you can see from the diagram the Ring should be near the Green writing but it some how ends up near the Black writing. I have no conclusions because they claim that after sex it could fall out but after sex it always ends up in the perfect position for days even forget that it is there. But now I am just done I really think I am just going to go back to the pill, I mean at least with the pill I know it will stay in place and do its job. Well I just wanted to say that cuz it was grinding my gears.

Fall Rant

So it is flu seasin and who knows better than me. I have been out of commission for a week and I feel like shit. The flu took my body and I don't kno how to get it back. It started with a sore throat then and aching everything then I just simply felt like shit. After that I was left with this cough. Oh this cough is going to be my dimise. My throat itches andthen I cough uncontrollably for a long time this leaves me with a headache and a still itching throat. I will never get well I feel like I am dying. Oh did I mention that the coughing is making me throw up. Yes a lot. I can't keep a damn thing down when I start coughing. I just want this shit to be over. It is not sexy at all.

NAP TIME LOVE

So I'm about to take a nap before I go to work but I just wanted to stop in to get real and say I appreciate everyone who reads my blog and I wish u all the best in life.

Now I'm sleepy and I must go...MUAH MUAH. Luv

Life's Riddle: Who, When, Where?

Who?
I am the bloom of a flower on a summers crisp day
I am the melting of the ice from that summer suns ray
I am the dream that exhales from the eyes of all day
I am the growth of the seed that was blown a stray

When?
It was a time when the world needed to free space
When every where that u went was the perfect place
When time was slow and man knew no race
When women carried themselves with style and grace

Where?
It is a place where men and women can all me free
Where there's no I, me, them, or us, just WE
Where things are asked of you and there is no decree
Where u can be a somebody with no degree

These are the question asked of me
Where will I go and who will I be
I answer these questions simply
I am who I am and I'll be who I be

The Death of My Future

If you dont know who this young man is I suggest you turn on a TV, Radio, internet anything and look at it. This is Derrion Albert and this young man was beaten to death last month by a group of teenagers, and yes it was recorded and put on the internet(our generation I guess). Just talkin about this is making me sad and making me want to cry. Please research him for me so you can know why I am saddened. But recently I have been rethinking my desire to move to Chicago and I really think that this has mad my decision for me. I have never really felt this way about these things..I have watched fights on YouTube all the time but this one touched me. It is disgusting how our blck youth are killing one another and no one seems to want to talk...How can I dream of raising my children in a place where they may not live to see 17 y/o. Something needs to be done because if this is the future...the world is in danger....I cant type anymore My eyes are clouded by my tears.

Discussion: My CRACK

Its been a minute since we had one of these, I guess because nothing really seemed that important to me for a while, but yesterday I relapsed from my rehab on my addiction and not I'm going effin crazy. For those of you who don't know I am addicted to "The Sims" and yes it is my crack. I have been a video game whore for years, from the time I got a Super Nintendo,to first time I got on the internet at my parents house, to the first time I bought a computer game (Dark Earth then Tomb Raider),to the PS1,2 and 3 , and all of them have had the same time freezing, life numbing affect on my life. With all those games I eventually got bored not necessarily with the games but with staying up for hours and hours knowing that I have shit to do the next day. But the Sims does something to me. I was up until 4AM this morning playing that damn game knowing I had to wake up at 540AM. Every time I looked at the clock I was saying to myself that "all ill need is a nap" or "I won't be that tired in the morning" but that's how it starts. In the past I have stayed up for 2 and a half days playing and playing the Sims. Not noticing that the sun was back up or that it had ever gone down. So what happened last night was not as bad as the past but its a sign that it can only get worse. The Sims 3 has come along (just like all of the Sims games in the past) and pushed all of my other activities aside,homework,blogging,studying, reading,watching ANTM, watching RHoATL, and all the other things you know I do. I thought I could just play for a little while and then step away from the computer at a reasonable hour but I couldn't. I even stopped to take a shower and came right back. I am sad about my relapse but the game is very fulfilling and a great stress reliever. Well I am trying to stay awake now and this is a struggle. Why do I do these things to myself?

Staying Focused...Not One Of My Strong Suits

So I should be studying for my exam tomorrow but her i am blogging. I wish i could do this more often but this damn school stuff is in the way. I miss sitting around doing nothing because there is nothing that needs to be done. I am so tired of school and it is so hard to stay focused.

What in all of Spanish Harlem is the effin problem

This is what I call 5:06 minutes of child something that should never be doen let alone shown in public...no these are not black children they are little hispanic kids and they are a hot ass mess and I am disgusted with the fat momma and all of the adults that allow this to happen...WTF like really

Have You Ever

Have you ever just woke up and wanted to go back to sleep...thats how i felt when i woke up this morning...I was ready to just thro the towel in on the day and give up. But I have to build a drive and make myself do what needs to be done...So I am at the library..and i can feel my spirits lifting...I am still a little upset but if i keep myself busy i think I will be alright.

Yawn!!!!

SoI guess this may be a little silly but I'm in class and bored out of my mind.


And so is my friend Darryl
Just thought I would make that known!!!!

Pissed....

Dell just screwed me...like really bad...let me tell you my story.


So my homegirl bought me the Sims 3 and anyone who knows me knows I am a Sims fanatic. Well I download the game on my new Dell Inspiron mini 10v. I go to play the game and the computer tells me the graphics card is not found. So at 4 something in the AM I call Dell. And obviously at this time of the morning there is no one on Dell's payroll that speaks English as there first language, But I deal with it. I talk to one person after the next. Then I get to this guy who seems to be helping me but I guess not....

I tell him I need 2GHz and I keep saying I need gigahertz, he is just saying gigz so i figure we r on the same damn page...and we were but this M-effer was in the GB RAM book and I was in the GHz book. So I just spent $45 om 2 GB RAM that I dont need. So i go to try to cancel it but guess what...the people who speak English dont come in until 8AM....BS total BS.....what happened to 24 hour customer service. By the time I get to talk to someone it will be too late to cancel my order.

I would say the money is not an issue but it is if I am getting something I do not want or need...and I still cant play the damn Sims.....

FAIL

New Computer

Hey yall I just wanted to say that I got my new computer...SO be looking for me to be blogging a little bit more. And I will be def getting more homework done.....This is so great...and I found my web cam and I got a new video camera.....Cindy is most def going mobile.

ITS MY MICHAEL'S BIRTHDAY

So I am posting a tone of pics of Michael for what would have been his 51st Birthday....I still love this man and his music and you should too...I mean come on he is the fucking greatest....

THE KING LIVES FOREVER

She just looks so comfy with her big bro

I love this damn song and I love them together

Brotherly Love

Where it all began

Michael and his little princess

Michael with his sisters

Michael being a daddy

MJ not looking too "Thrilled" LOL

Gotta love Michael

What the fans really see

Deep thought MJ

Marketing MJ

The Baddest MJ of them all...LOL

Little Dreaming Michael

Baby MJ

Good is Good

I'm doing good. My life is on a roll. I have friends and fam that love me and I am learning to get over things much easier. I have money and I can't ask for anything more. Ill be back tomorrow with my planet and shit but I juat have to rant on things. This is mostly for my bestie. He has been going thru some shit and its a life changing thing. I'm not saying he was immature at first but he was doing too much LOL. Now he is waking up. I am glad he is good and I think I am more glad that he has me LOL. He is way to hard on himself.

School Bells: The Proclamation

Hey Hey Hey...I hear those school bells ringing so u know its time to get in there. I am trying to decide what my style for this semester will be but its hard because I am a different kinda chick. I think I'm going with animal print...but i also bought a lot of v necks and beaters...but i will still be incorporating animal print you'll see me LOL. Plus with my new natural hair I think I'm ready to kick off this senior year hard. Today i am doing laundry and I need to buy some shades and shoes...I have my $40 Mani and I'm doing my free Pedi tonight...I HOPE...Things are looking ^UP^ and I am excited. Senior year is going to be my year and May 22, 2010 is going to be my day. So please remember that I said that and when I'm down please refer me back to this post if you care about my sanity. Well I'm off to do stuff.....Love You Guys

I Say This With A Straight Face

WHY do I always let myself get used up to the point where there is nothing left for me. WHY do ppl fail to believe that I have feelings too, no they kno I have feelings they just try to test me. I have gone thru so many friends in these past 22 years of my life and now I realize that my friendship is too hard. If u never had a friend who cared enough about you to check on you, to offer their assistance and just be there without asking for a damn thing in return then u r not ready for a friends like me. I have had sudden breaks and hard breaks from friends but none hurt worse than the ones who just don't understand who you are. I am a real person, I don't get any more real. I laugh hard, play hard, cry hard, and I fall hard. But I need a friend now. I need someone who can be my backbone because that is hard to find. They all say they are different for me to only find out they just have a different name with different skin but the same mind set. It amazes me how most of my friendships r so one sided. Only because I allow them to be. I play like on a hard ass but I'm really a kitten. I hurt just like everyone else but no one seems to realize this or care. As I write this I am however realizing that there is hope for me to find that friend. I just need to be open. So this is what I have come to. I want to thank the ppl who understand my pain and understand that sometimes I need a break too. And I want to thank the people who don't want to take the time to understand me but simply want to reap the benefits of our friendships. Because these two groups of ppl are the ones who make me a better friend and I am more than open to that.

The People I Call Friends

I think I have a problem with calling ppl my friends too quickly. Let me tell u about some of the ppl I call my friends.
One of my So Called Friends(SCF) decided it would be a good idea to tell me how they felt they needed an explanation as to why I don't chill with them anymore. When I was pretty sure I told this SCF that I was broke and starving. So all I do is work go to the gym and sleep because I have no money to eat. I didn't say anything when this same asshole stopped talking to me for almost a fucking month.

Then don't get me started on this SCF that does not respond to any of my any kind of messages until they want something and then when I call them out on it they have the fuckin nerve to get upset with me. Really that's how u feel. This person should be lucky they r back in my life period after the emotional confusion they took me thru.

And the new SCF. That was texting me everyday now I don't even get a hey because I told them NO for the first time. The fuck outta here with that little kid shit.

You kno what I'm just done. I am no longer allowing walk-ins into my life. From now on u need 3 references, an appointment for an interview and a fuckin resume.

Feed Me Semore....

So you guys....I have been hungry for the past 2 or 3 days. I am dreaming about food LOL. Friday I swear Walmart is going to hate me. Im going to shop like I have food stamps. I have already made my grocery list now if i can just get everything taken care of all will be well . So continue to pray for me.....Cuz my ribs r touching....

Got Milk???...Dont Spill It

So I heard this story not too long ago but now its on Nancy Grace. A 13 year old girl Kills her step grand father over some GD milk...What kinda shit is that ....Watch the video

For Hip Hop News & Entertainment at DimeWars.Com

This is my new fav cardio/youtube video.....ENJOY

We're In The Money

I am just checking in with my faithful followers and letting you know that all of my time away from my blog was worth it because now I have money and Honey I wont complain. It was a hard two weeks of working sun-up to sun-down but I can smile now. I will be going grocery shopping Friday so I wont have to be hungry like I have been being for the past 3 or 4 days. Thanks for praying for me and thanks for caring.....Now back to the silliness that is Cindy....

What is the World coming to????!!!!

So I was on one of my fave blogs to follow now...youknowyoudeadazzwrong.blogspot.com and I saw this video that pissed me the fuck off. Watch it then I will say my piece.




OK so why in all the hell can these little girls do this shit. I am a grown ass woman and I dont do this shit...I think it is a fuckin shame that not only was this recorded but it was allowed. With all the little boys around watchin and kids cheering her on....can u say child pornography...fuck outta here

More than ANNOYED...

Why can't I have along day of stupidity that ends in relaxation. That shit never can and apparently never will happen. The more annoyed I am throughout the day the more annoyed I will be by the time I have to lie my head down. I am so sick of money and having to pay bills that I shouldn't have to pay. I am tired of having a broke as man. I love him don't get me wrong but he has given himself way more shit than he can handle finacially and now I am stuck paying half of all of the shit he said he could handle. That gets on my fuckin nerves. I worked more hours this week than he did. I don't get over time and I am trying to keep myself out of debt but I sit here and my credit (because of him) is slowly depleiting. I don't get help with any of the bills he helps to run up but yet and still I am forced to do what I have to do. Fuck that shit. Just fucki it...

Contagious and They Spread

So I was sitting here at work thinking...you know that's how I live my life...always thinkin about shit well I was thinking about things that are weird like...
*Smiles are contagious- like if u r upset someone can make u smile simply by smiling hard enough at you
*Yawns are Contagious- like even the thought of a yawn makes u want to yawn... Everytime I type the word yawn I feel the urge
*Itches spread- like when u have a itch in one place once that itch is relieved u start to itch in other places...I even read about some ones noes itching and mine started to itch

Do you have any more weird contagious and spreading things

Not Feeling This Shit Here

So I have been at work all night well since 3am and I am so sleepy. I hope my relieve comes in early. This fight is beconing a losing battle. Thank God for Steve Harvey because my work buddoes have failed me. Damn

Controllin Myself

Mind wanders
Every shit I right starts like this
Because my mind is and orphan on a lonely trip
It strolls thru the dark and leaves me lifeless
I can stand it
Can't conprehend it can't explain it
I'm living
I'm dying
I'm standing
But mainly
I'm tryin to control myself

I Got To Have IT....

Marc Jacobs Lock It Pocket Tote
This shit folds into a wallet

*Sigh*

Wat team I don't have one...I don't have friends that die hard for me like I die hard for them and I think that is something I will never get used to so I have to change. I have to make ppl see that I don't wanna b a giver anymore I want to me a sitter. I want to sit and wait for other ppl to do shit and that should b fine but it won't be. I'm sick of calling the bank and getting the rudest person in there on the phone when my money isn't right. I'm sick of giving to my friends just for them to say fuck u until they need something again. And I am tired of life. If I was the suicide type I think this post would be my going away present to the world but since I'm not its just another rant about how my life no matter how simple it may seem is complicated. Shit I want a man who will take care of me and give to me without looking at his bank account. I need friends who want to help me and not just party and drink with me. I need to start over. Because if I could go back to 5 years ago I would have all of that and more because I would do things that make me happy. And right now in my life I am not happy and I damn sure deserve to be.

Obsessed

So I a obsessed with blogtv.com....that shit is bananas...I personally am not down for talking to a camera and trying to read ppls comments all at once but I love it. I think you guys should check it out....Oh and if you read either of my blogs on the reg please become a follower.....I would truly love to know who I am entertaining....and tell a friend....

I Should Be Sleep But...

Well I should be sleep but I just wanna talk. I realized today that what's cute to some is not cute to all. Mind you I am not ugly but I guess I'm not what the average dude would call cute. I hold myself to a high standard and I love the people who r around me and let me kno I am beautiful. But I guess those r just the people who kno me. I feel like I pride myself on not being ugly but it hurts when ppl don't agree that u r cute. I don't kno how many ppl feel me on that but that was on my mind and I think that is why I am still awake. I love the ppl who say I am beautiful but r they just saying that because they kno me or did they think that when they first saw me. IDK. Some ppl like my bestie, my dude and some of my closer friends have told me that they always thought I was beautiful. But now I'm getting sleepy see venting and ranting is better than masturbation if u need to sleep.

But befor I go to sleep I have to say one more thing. Why are we still on the light skinned dark skinned brown skinned thing. Yes I do believe that anything darked that light is often over looked and just like lighter girls we are always assumed to be something other than black if we are pretty of have nice skin or curly hair. Why can't I be black. Black men need to stop downing women. Your preference is your preference but just because I'm brown does not make me ugly. Get with it. Briwn is. Back. I love all od my black sisters and we need to stand together and let these niggas kno that u won't turn us against one another.

Now for Whats on MY Mind

So I sit and I wonder
Soul sits at ease
Wil I make an impact
Or will the world just freeze
Can I make the world see
No because I can't even make you
Know the things I need
For me to do what I want to do
No I'm not happy
But I'm not hurt either
I'm just not in the right place
For me to say that I need you
I care about you
Way more than you kno
But u kno me the G
I can't let those feelings show

Poem By a Great Friend of Mine....Love ya Mr. Roach

THE TRUTH

TEARS FALL LIKE RAINDROPS IN A THUNDERSTORM
HEARTS POUND WITH THE FORCE OF THUNDER
LOVE IS DRENCHED WITH PAIN
TO GAIN SOMETHING IS TO LOSE EVERYTHING
TO GAIN NOTHING & LOSE EVERYTHING IS THE LOST OF LOVE
TO HAVE ONE'S TRUST IS A HONOR
TO LOSE ONE'S TRUST IS TO BE DISCHARGED WITHOUT HONOR
LIES ARE THE "CARDS IN THE GAME"
TO STAY IN THE GAME YOU MUST PLAY EACH CARD AT THE RIGHT TIME
WHEN THE OPPOSITE LOVE IS SPRUNG OFF LIES
!!GAME OVER!!
LOVE COMES WITH LIES
LIKE THE SKY COMES WITH CLOUDS
AT TIMES THE SKY MAY BE CLEAR
THEN TIMES IT GETS FLOODED WITH CLOUDS
A HEART GETS CRUSHED LIKE ANTS WITH EVERY STEP IN TIME
SOME SURVIVE IN THE CRACKS IN THE SIDEWALKS
WHEN THE COAST LOOKS CLEAR ANOTHER HEART COMES TO PREDICT THE FORCAST...

copyright April 22, 2009

By The one and only Mr. Chris Roach.....MUAH

See I do show love to others ppl LOL

Brain Drain

Well this is where I let out a few random thoughts. It won't make sense it may be a little funny but its just a way for me to empty my brain...love hate friends enemies love lost home friends water water water reaching out for me I am so fuckin depressed I need help I need friends I need love. I'm so lost. Joy anger brain brain brain sorrow. Ill be one tough act to follow. No followers. Relationships. Damn. Fuck relationships. Tears. Loneliness flashing lights beauty. Inner outer friends. Hope faith God the Devil food hunger money ha ha ha ha. I need real time. I love my friends. I need a new life a new day. A new a new me. Short hair. I want my hair back. I digress. I want to smile smile smile smile smile smile damnit damnit just smile. Please no tears. Stop don't cry. Stay cool its just a brain drain chill out. Deep breathes breathe breathe. Old friends. Weird ppl. Y do I always meet fucked up ppl. Y do I want to be liked by ppl. I want to be a bitch. Y can't I be mean. Y can't he just leave me. I need help lately I've been hard to reach. Where am I. I'm not answering myself. Beauty inner. Outer. Do I have either damn damn. D. A. M. N. What in the fuck is in my mind.


Breathe

Just UP.....CR.Dreamin'

Well I am up and awake(I worked last night) and it is so weird I have a Dream about these Creative Recreations....

Creative Recreations
Galow Hi

So Now I Want Them!!!!

*Yawn*

So it is 5:50am and I have been up since 6:45pm. And I don't get off work until 9am. Why did I sign up for this. Like what the hell was I thinking. I am so sleepy and I just want to ly down and sleep my life away. I only have 3 more hours. I will let u kno if I can make it.

Shoes and Bags I Really Like...

Marc by Marc Jacobs
Tote-ally Miss Marc Tote Bag

Blowfish
Wow Wow black boots

DKNYC
Ada leopard flats

NineWest
Bonfire black pumps

Like Really...?

I am so tired of people. Like we were friends and I thought we were pretty close. I started to open up to you and what do I get, a fuckin slap in the face. We don't talk for days and then u try to just show up in my life. Look I'm thru. I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt and give you the friendship I thought u needed but I guess I was not good enough. I know u don't read my blog but I am writing this to release you from my life. I am done so so so so done. If u need me in here but I am just a listening vessel now. I do little talking and not releasing.

I Think Im Going to Heck With ...PEACHES...LOL & Deadlies

Sometimes you can learn more about a person by what they don’t tell you. Sometimes you can learn a lot from the things they just make up. If you are tagged with this Meme, lie to me. Then tag 7 other folks (one for each deadly sin) and hope they can lie.

Pride:
What is your biggest contribution to the world?
My blog is my biggest contribution...If only mre people read it the world would be a better place.
Envy
What do your coworkers have that you wish was yours?
Well one of them has really long hair and I wish I hadnt cut mine...one has a Ipod touch that is effin amazing, and many of them have cars...I wish I had a car....
Gluttony
What did you eat last night?
I ate lasagna...the microwaved kind...but believe me when I say i wanted something else and something more.
Lust
What really lights your fire?
Guys that smoke like a chimney and smell like liquor
Anger
What is the last thing that really pissed you off?
My Hair...it wont listen to me
Greed
Name something you hoard and keep from others:
I am not a hoarder I love to share
Sloth
What’s the laziest thing you ever did?
Took the elevator to the second floor even though i got to the stairs first

WTH!!!!!

Don't u hate being waken by stupidity? Sometimes ppl should just think before they do stuff. Yall don't ever do stuff together but today it takes two ppl to go do something. I had to get that out of my system.

Just Up

So I'm about to go to bed but I want to clear my mind. So I will start by saying I truly love the people in my life. If I ever seem as if I have an attitude with u I don't. I just have my days. And some days I seriously don't want to be bothered. Well I just gave myself a mani pedi and I am so relaxed. Night

RIP Michael Jackson...Forever My KING

"He's Out Of My Life"

[1st Verse]
He's Out Of My Life
He's Out Of My Life
And I Don't Know Whether To Laugh Or Cry
I Don't Know Whether To Live Or Die
And It Cuts Like A Knife
He's Out Of My Life

[2nd Verse]
It's Out Of My Hands
It's Out Of My Hands
To Think For Many Years He Was Here
And I Took Him For Granted I Was So Care Free
Now The Way That It Stands
He's Out Of My Hands

[Bridge]
So I've Learned That Love's Not Possession
And I've Learned That Love Won't Wait
Now I've Learned That Love Needs Expression
But I Learned Too Late

[3rd Verse]
He's Out Of My Life
He's Out Of My Life
Damned Indecision And Cursed Pride
Kept My Love For Him Locked Deep Inside
And It Cuts Like A Knife
He's Out Of My Life

TEAR...I LOVE YOU MICHAEL

I Wana DO Something

I am so effin bored. I want to go somewhere and so something but I don't have a car. What am I going to do? The beach sounds nice, or how about the mall(with no money) or a party. I just want to do something. Anything. Y is boredom followng me.

Eddie Murphy and Other Comedians that I Like

I was watching the late show and I was loving it because it had eddie murphy on. I have been a fan of Eddie all my life. Other than Sinbad he was the only comedian that I really had to watch everything he did. Now that I am older I have the amazing respect for the man. His name has been drug thru the mud so much but he still stands making movies and making people laugh. People say that Eddie lost his edge and that he is not funny anymore but I disagree, he is hilarious to me. In my opinion he only made one horrible movie and that was "Bowfinger" other than that all of his movies had that Eddie Murphy special kind of funny. Because I admire Eddie so much its hard for me to laugh at some of this so called comedy now a days. I think that Eddie Murphy is a comical genius. And I will give you my list of comical geniuses right now in no particular order:

1. Richard Pryor
2. Eddie Murphy
3. Charlie Murphy
4. Dave Chapelle
5. Steve Harvey
6. Ricky Smiley
7. Dane Cook
8. Margret Cho
9. Katt Williams
10. Chelsea Handler

These people in my opinion have their own special brand of comedy. Either you love it or you hate it. And I love all ten of these brilliant people.

Summer Lust...All the Single Ladies

So this is for the single ladies...it is the Summer time and it is hot. And. I believe that you should get like a dude. Go out and do your thing. U have all fall to try to find a man. Use the Summer to venture out and find a couple good friends so that u are never lonely. Growing up around mainly guys I know that guys don't mind hanging with a girl. All that stuff about them not hangin with chicks unless they are getting some is a whole lot of Bullshit. Summertime is a time for fun and if you think being single is a burden (some ppl do) get over it and get out there.

Summertime Enemy

So make-up is my summertime enemy, anybody who knows me know I can't and don't wear foundation because it is 1. not necessary and 2. it would break my face out(how I found that out is another story for another day). So I don't ever wear foundation some so my face is flawless but that's because they don't see what I see. I think my skin is a killer dry mess. But I love eye shadow. I have many many many colors and eye shadow kits that I get as gifts or I buy myself. But this heat is killing my summer eye shadow dreams. I put on eye shadow and bam my eye lids sweat (yes my eye lids) and I wipe and wipe and wipe my eyes and all of my eye shadow ends up on my hands and shirt and anything else I can get a hold of. I am sick of going natural (even though I can do it thank God for good genes) I want to do my face up in the day time where ppl can see it. But for now that is just a dream it seems. Now don't get me wrong I believe that if u have to wear makeup PLEASE do because I don't want you to go out looking a mess I am just saying I really want my eye shadow back. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make your own make up decisions. Well that's all I have to say about that. And other than that my vaca is going great, fresh hair cut, big ole butt(LOL) , just NO DAMN eye shadow.

The Vaca Got Better

So since the last time we talked I have had so much fun....FUN FUN FUN. I had to update this on the computer to let u know how exciting my past few days have been. I had a great time with fam at the cookout...and a even greater time with my Grandma. We were celebrating her birthday and she loved it. Well at first she was annoyed but she got over it. I really really really enjoyed myself. It was a great turn from the horrible days that came before it. Today was cool too i ate with my mom and bro. Tomorrow I go home and hopefully and I can go home happy for the first time in years......

Laying in the Room

I have been up since 1pm and it is now 401 am. I am so lost and have the slightest idea y I am awake. Well it is kinda hot in the house and I am really bored. There is something about my home town that keeps me up all night. When I say there is nothing to do there is totally nothing to do but still I am here,awake and wondering why. Not ony wondering y but knowing that no one will read this until I am fast asleep or unable to do anything but sit somewhere with my mom tomorrow and look at the walls. And don't even get me started on my hair. Every since it started growing I am at a total lose for what I dhould do with it. And I never really have to. Experiment to I am stuck with silly atempts to look cool or at least have way decent. I knew I should have left my raggity hair alone and just let it me bad looking (to me) cuz ppl just say "y did u cut your hair" and when u explain they say " I didn't see anything wrong with it". Well of course u didn't its not like I was going around showing evrybody how bad my hair was breaking off. And don't get me start on my mother's mood swings. Y is she insisting on annoying me or upsetting me. AND Y AM I SO DAMN SENSATIVE? Not to mention I'm here without my boo and nobody I chill with.

So after one day this is turning into a very mediocre visit home and as I get more or less annoyed I will keep u updated.

Annoyed...Oh So Annoyed

So I don't like barbershops. I don't like sitting around a bunch of men. And I look a mess right now. As soon as I got to the country my daddy and my brother wanted me to come with them to the barbershop and walmart. I would rather sit at home. But since I love my brother I came with them. Now I have been here for a hour and I just want to go home. Not to mention my period is on and I should not be around ppl right now. I just want to go home.

Yeas to Thunderstorms

The wild wind of the soulful breeze
The rumbling sound of peace within
The flashing lights of natures fame
The pitter patter of falling rain
This is the perfect storm
The onlt storm that matters
Thunderstorm I have to have
Have no other storm I'd rather
Copyright 2009


I love storms and this is the first thunderstorm I have experienced this year and I am so happy. So I'm going to enjoy this storm. MUAH

Why???

When talking to a few of my female friends(yes I do fux with a few chicas LOL)yesterday I realized as females we have a problem with letting go. We need explanations and calculation and investigations. We can't just let things go. I have noticed that in order for me to move on in the past I have had to start a new relationship. Its just silly. We as women need to start standing strong in what we believe in. I have started deleting ppls numbers from my phone but I always find a way to get their numbers back. I have been hurt so much in my short years that I sometimes even over react to the things that ppl don't do. This is not about male relationships. This is about all relationships. I have had ppl drop me just for me to find out I did nothing wrong but the whole time we weren't talking I was thinking that I had done something so I make it a point not to drop ppl for no reason and not to drop ppl without letting them know why. Because if they r really your friend u should b able to talk it out. I have recently been re-introduced to two of the realest females I know and they r ppl that I have known all my life and at the end of the day even they have letting go problems. I don't judge because I have been there and I am writing this blog to let them know that I know where they r coming from. The bottom line is women can't let go with out knowing what they r letting go of and y.

Stop Your Complaining

I am so tired of complaining ass ppl. Ppl r so stuck on the economy that they fail to see the blessings that God is placing before them. Some ppl get an extra $400 in their pay check and still find a reason to complain when unexpected bills come their way. It is ridiculous to me how some ppl can ignore the obvious because they so badly want to b stuff in the struggle. Life is too short to let money bother you. And I wish that other ppl especially males could see that.

You Mite Win Some...

Today was not a good day. I lost a friend not to death but to bullshit and at the end of the day that just simply proves that he could not have been a true friend. It is still fresh on my mind and fresh in my soul but I kno that I will get over it. It hurt my feelings the way shit went down and I'm still confused as to what the fuck happened but all I kno is this is the last time I give someone a second chance because I always get fucked in the end. I'm going to miss our good times and remember our bad but this can not be forgiven. And I want to ask GOD to forgive me for not forgiving and not being peaceful. And ask GOD to help me to forget this nonsense and move on with my life and the days I share with my real friends. I could have done so many bad and wrong things to this person but all I ever really wanted to do was help and be there and they kno that but until the day they realize that I will have to know that a simple harmless quetion(or at least that's what I thought it was) ended our friendship. I hope GOD blesses him in all he does and that he will forever be blessed but right now I'm going to sleep and get myself right with GOD because only he knows my heart.

You Mite Win Some...

Today was not a good day. I lost a friend not to death but to bullshit and at the end of the day that just simply proves that he could not have been a true friend. It is still fresh on my mind and fresh in my soul but I kno that I will get over it. It hurt my feelings the way shit went down and I'm still confused as to what the fuck happened but all I kno is this is the last time I give someone a second chance because I always get fucked in the end. I'm going to miss our good times and remember our bad but this can not be forgiven. And I want to ask GOD to forgive me for not forgiving and not being peaceful. And ask GOD to help me to forget this nonsense and move on with my life and the days I share with my real friends. I could have done so many bad and wrong things to this person but all I ever really wanted to do was help and be there and they kno that but until the day they realize that I will have to know that a simple harmless quetion(or at least that's what I thought it was) ended our friendship. I hope GOD blesses him in all he does and that he will forever be blessed but right now I'm going to sleep and get myself right with GOD because only he knows my heart.

Amazing Times

For some reason this was one of the longest weekends I have ever had. Full of alcohol and fun. I missed those weekend and I am glad they r back.

The Toast

I left up my glass to my new friend
The closer we get the further the end
The happiness we share is beyond measure
A friend like u is a friend forever
We have our differences
But that makes us the same
The closer we get the quieter the shame
Your presence makes me happy
And I smile when I hear your name
So welcome into my like
Good friend of mine
We have to stay close until the end of time

Drunkin Night

Of all nights I chose last night to get really really drunk. But the thing is I was not drunk until I got up for work this morning. I could not talk or talk and I wanted to just throw up. So I did. I went in the bathroom and emptied myself. It made me feel better. Drinking is only fun if u don't have plans the next day

Doin Nothing Much

I am sitting I'm my bed room trying to figure out things. And by things I don't kno what I mean. Like I cut my hair and I feel like matbe crying about it becuse I don't know what to do with it. Like ppl say it is cute but maybe they r just saying that to my face and are not really feelin it. I mean I'm glad I did it cuz I am starting over but what if it doesn't grow back. What if I have totally fucked up. I mean I'm not lookin for a man so that's not my issue. I just want to be attractive to ppl. Have I ruined my look. I don't know. I'm ready to see what the future holds. I am glad the ppl who r in my life are here and I love them. But I think its time for me to love me.

Phone Troubles

So the friday befor my bday my blackberry Curve crashed and I lost all info that I had not saved. Today I got a new curve and hun let me tell u I have never had such a great experience until now. My first curve had to be in slow classes or something because it did not amount to the wonderment of the one I have now. I kno u r thinking that I am going to be complaining next week but I think that this one was made for me

My Birthday

I hate sharing my bday. I had to share my bday with Mother's day Again this year and I did not do the things that I wanted to do but I am happy I got to spend time with my family.

Snap Out of It

I'm back to my normal self again. Well as normal as I can get and that is a good thing. I got to see some really pretty lightening tonight and that was a bonus. I watched an alright movie(I figured it out 20 minutes into the movie) and I spent time with my birthday boy who is sleeping again lol. I tell u this guy sleeps like nobodies business. So I'm lying down now trying to fall asleep but I have so much jumbled in my brain. The infamous Chris Brown has been spending too much time at my school lately and that is pissin me off not to mention the fact that he is causing all kinds of crazy. If u read my other blog u would kno that I am not a fan of the Chrissy (and this was before the Rih Rih situation that just made me speak out). So the fact that he may b using my schools facilities for free pisses me off. I should kick his ass and show him who's boss round these here parts then chicks will see that he does fight girls and his career could possibly be over forever. But y cuz I'm mad. I'm glad I'm too old for the bullshit I'm just sick of the nonsense. And I hope that I don't seem too bitchy I just feel how I feel

Not Myself

So today is the first day of my "girl time" and I feel very emotionally unstable. It has been raining all day and I just want to throw up and be mad. I know that I shouldn't be because it is my man's bday but I can't help it. My emotions are way stringer than my desire today and I am hating this. I need a get away very seriously.

New Follower

So I have a new follower its my home girl missanonymous and her blog is effin hilarious. Make sure to read it from beginning to end. It is for adults and has a lot of things we all can relate to. So if u get bored and want to read some interesting sex stories and real life smut check out kissandtellin.blogspot.com well that's all I have for u today.

Im Up, NOT Cool!!

Hey u guys I'm up with the sun and not very happy about it. I can not stand my job. And sometimes its not so much the job as the working conditions,the situation, and the necessity for me to be here for my own fiscal benefit. I am constantly in a on going battle with the one I call sleep. Studying all day yesterday, then I went to the hottest(not hot as in good but the literal meaning) indoor pool party ever in the history of indoor pool parties that I have been to. It was a 4 on a 1-10 scale in how fun it was. Some assholes got a kick out of throwing people in the pool with their phones and any other electrical devices attached. That is what made it so lame. And from the looks of outside today may be as lame as that party. Its day light but I lied when I said I was up with the sun cuz that little guy is MIA. So I will be napping before I go back into the deep meditations of study. My biggest goal as of right now is to try to stay awake for the next 5 hours without totally losing my mind. I want to bad to not even be sleepy right now but since I went to bed mad I didn't say my prayers and that leaves me at work tired and confused. And not looking forward to the last 3 hours of this shift. Well I think I'm done rambling on and on about my SAD life. I hope u all have a nice day I know I will try.

So I Was Thinking...

So I was just sitting here thinking. What happened to the days where movies weren't remakes of another movie. I miss the days where the writers were creative and had a vision. I used to pride myself on not going to see a movie just because of the actors that are in them but now that is the only way to determine a good movie. Or an original movie. Like that's just crazy to me and I just wanted to put my thoughts out there.

I Dont Like it One Bit

The swine flu is officially killing Americans. A 23month old child died from the swine flu and I am officially scared. I know that its a baby and their immune system is not as strong as that of an adult but its still kinda scary. I hope that I get lucky enough anf that I am blesseg enough for this sickness to pass me by. But this is definately proof of the end of times. Sicknesses are mutating from animals and infected humans and killing up. If I get this sickness I could definately end up broke and homeless and I don't have time for that. So right now all I can do is pray that this sickness does not affect me or any of my loved ones. And I think u should pray too

PS I really need some sleep I am mad mad mad tired

Nighttime Poetry

So many word in English
So many ways to form them
The hazard in the danger
There's no real way to warn them
There has to be a guiding light
A meaning to these scars
I wait for love to come from a far
To wait with open arms
But I get nothing
No not a thing
Not a smile or wink or glimps
The thing I love of about life the most
Are the rapid growths and skimps
The skimps off peoples daily act
To take a final sip
So sip away at your little cup of life
And make your dreams come true
'Cause a dream is just a reality living inside of you
Copyright 2009

Morning Words

Well there will be no blog at Mayweather Planet today but I will have a double blog tomorrow. However I am very tired this morning. I stayed up all night doing my wild and crazy hair. It was not fun but at least its done (I hope). Do u ever have those days where your hair just will not do what u want it to do. That's how my damn hair is what seems like evryday. And my hair is even worse when I think that it is going to look good. So I just stopped caring. As long as I am not hairless. Oh and my warm days are here. Well not warm they are HOT and that makes me so happy. Now I have to wash my clothes to that I can have something to wear.I am very happy about that. I want new clothes and shoes for the summer but I really don't feel like shopping u know with my finacial condition and all. But all of that is not important. I am going to go now and read my book and try to stay awake here at work.

Still Up

So I'm lying in bed tryin to figure out y in the world am I still awake. I have been awake since 530 AM and have not been able to sleep. I think I messed up my sleep schedule with my overnight shift. But all of that is fine because I only work 3 house tomorrow morning. I just wish I didn't have to be home alone. And my artistic juices have stopped flowing. I want to write poetry but the poems won't come. I am trippin. I have not been myself lately but I have to bring in my positive energy back.

Well

I know I have been MIA for a minute but I'm kinda back. This has just been one of those weeks. I have had so many things go wrong but these things will only make me stronger. At the end of the day I have things I want to do and places I want to go but things go the way they want and not the way I want.

Morning

I slept pretty good last night and I think it was because I let out all of my late night frustrations here on my blog. I think that is going to be the way I get past all of my night time distraction. When I can't go to sleep I will just talk until my mind is clear

Night Talk

Before I go to sleep I must clear my head. I would really love for people to comment on my blog. I have these blogs not only for ppl to see what I think be for u too show me what u think. So comment. Give me some feedback. Anyway that is not what is really on my mind. I reallt want to just vent about a holiday that I want to start. I want to make June 1st national clean up day. I want this to be the day that people go through their lives and clean up all the assholes and half way friends in their lives. I found that this makes for a better future u know. Sometime you have to clean up your past to see your future. And I just recently realized that myself. I had a lot of people that I called my friends only because I was always there for them but that time has past. It is time for my real friends to get the recognition that they deserve. So I have cleaned up my past and my future is looking so sos so sososo good. And for my male friends don't keep askin me for advice be a man and learn shit on your own there r only three men that I will advise no matter what and they r the boo the bro and the bestie. All of you other dudes need to figure shit out on your own because until u can help me I'm not helpin you. I think that is all I have to say so that I may sleep peacefully. But u know if I think of something else I will be right back up here blogging with the best of them. Well good night.

Just Fine

I just wanted to tell u guess that I have had no complaints these past few days. I am so over my lose and I am moving on. I am a little upset that about not working but I am getting alot of work done. OK...LOVE YOU FEW

Still NO Keys

So today is the day to find out if I left my keys where I think I left them... PRAY 4 ME. I really need to have those. I'm at work and I have not really been able to sleep like I wanted to because I have been worried about my keys. And my computer is still stuck on stupid. So I have to take my trips to the library to get my work done. And that includes my other blog but its raining today so I don't know what to do. I guess there will be know blog today. What a weekend. What A Weekend...SMDH

WTF!!! AGAIN

So my day no my life just got worse...I have a computer project to do and remember my DAMN computer is Stupid...So I go to the library to try and do everything I need to do and I cant download the software on the library computers...AINT THAT A BITCH. Now there is a alternative assignment..BUT its a 10-12 page paper....and it is due in two weeks. That is why I say WTF!!! I did however finish a 4 hour quiz in 44 minutes and got 10 of 12 points and did not study YAY!!!..so I gues I am doing FINE. I just need a better option for this Project. I emailed the teacher so I hope she has something positive to say other than GOOD LUCK!!! :) Because teachers are good for that BULLSHIT line. They dont care about your luck...real good luck would be if u gave me the A anyway...you kno Im good for it...LOL anyway I still have not found my keys, but i guess I never told u that i lost them yesterday...IDK where but I hope they come up, so life can only get better RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT!!!!

Damn Damn Damn

So my computer is being a dick so my blogging may be cut short for a while but don't worry I will make it work because I know how to find a computer. Well thought I would keep u informed of my status. I am loving the weather and the air condition. Love it

This Morning I jumped up ...

So good morning. I am at work and wishing I was still lying in my wonderful bed. If I could just sleep and sleep. I wonder what I'm going to have for lunch today. IDK. I am kinda hungry now but my buddy A left me a banana so that should hold me over until lunch time. I think I may have on too may clothes right now. - think I'm ranting again. But shit isn't that what this is for. So right now I am listening to Wale and I am a minor fan like I don't hate him but he doesn't make me feel any kinda way. So I have three more weeks until my summer break begins. I have like a month to save money for my vaca. I don't kno if I am going to make it. Well I think I may be done dumping my mind out on this page. Look out for minnie updates at
http://mayweatherplanet.blogspot.com. LOVE

Today Was a Good Day...Scratch That A Great Day

So I had fun today. I went out with the boo and we went to The Silver Diner and Rugget Warehouse (got a so cute outfit for happy hour ,should have been two outfits though). After that we picked up a movie(The SPIRIT). I am so happy I am finally watching it. I am also clearing my poor computer of all its sicknesses and that is y this post is a mobile post. So yes today was a day to be remembered. I wish all days were like this. OH and good SEX helped it a lot too. (LOVE YOU BABY). So since my life is like a box of chocolates today it will probably be a bag of shit tomorrow so look out for that lol. PEACE. MUAH

Just got Paid Friday Night

Yes pay day just pasted and I am oh so happy . I have money again...but of course I got a little upset...so I overdrafted twice and there for my ODF was $70. I am tired...but I need to do something...So i am trying to be more positive number one and second i have to make moves. I want to get married next March and I really want to buy a house...But My major goal right now is to graduate and start my career and that is what i am going to do..all i need is the support of my friends. I know this blog is going in quite a different direction but I am not angry all the time...I just need help from MY GOD because only he can help me..

Party

I have not been to a good party in a long time. When I day good party I mean. Dance and pass out drunk good party. Where u don't know the person whose feet are in your face when u wake up in the morning but u know u were introduced to them. LOL. I want to go to one of those good old parties this summer. CUZ I only really party during my breaks. Winter spring and SUMMER which is in 3 weeks. I can't wait to put on that swimsuit and hit the beach and the pool. And get drunk everyday cuz I can. I miss the SUMMER. I hope to get a real summer this year. So far things have been not looking so summery. I want it to be 80 degrees or higher and the sun to shine all day and for the nights to be warm and breezy. Like the summers of the 90's. Gosh everything was so much better in the 90's (check out http://mayweatherplanet.blogspot.com for more on the 90's). I just want to be able to relax in my air condition and love the summer. And pray that no one complains to GOD about it being to hot cuz now look what they did. Is it never going to be hot again? I don't know but I do know this the Summer is only what u make it so be safe and smart but have fun. Because everything is fun until some one gets hurt so use your sober mind and if u can't find your sober mind let some one else do the thinking and driving for u. We are loosing too many young ppl to alcohol and drunk violence. In the word of Eminem "Be smart don't be a retard". Well I could go on and on and on but who cares. Lol. MUAH and LOVE

Feelin Better

Singing..."THE DEVIL THOUGHT HE HAD ME ...OOOHHHHHH BUT A RAAAAA....."

so all of my anger from last night is finally gone, YAY ME!!! I watched ANTM and it was good there are two and a half black girls still up there and they r going to Brazil...YES. I watching House of Payne right now and that show is so good... I cant wait until 10 though cuz thats when the new episodes come on. So check out http://mayweatherplanet.blogspot.com for my latest gossip and discussions.

LOVE LOVE LOVE

Mobile Post

So I am sitting at work and I really have nothing to talk about I just wanted to check in. My ride didn't show up and guess what happened, I had to fuckin walk to work at 6 am. Fun right. I am really tired and I just need rest. I'm like so ready to graduate but of course I have another long long long year. But I am going to make the best of it. And that is going to make me happy.

WTF!!!!!

The DEVIL is riding me a tryin me today....its like as soon as i get over one problem another problem comes to make my life worse. i just need a break i need a vacation i need MONEY. My life is a mess and its not because i am doing something wrong. I really need a new life. like i dislike people and there are alot of ppl on my SHIT list and they will know it when they see me, cuz when in the FUCK did u start workin all of my shifts....but that is not the point. I'm over it now and I am ready to go to bed.

Growl!!!!!

So i called myself being responsible and signed up for a FREE credit report, and guess what that shit was not free. I went to check my account so i could eat but i have a -$12 in my account because my FREE credit report was fucking $30. so now i am broke until Thursday...so im hungry until thursday. this is the dumbest shit ever. i hate my life. i am very hungry and hunger equals anger... and anger equals headache....so in hungry angers and i have a headache. so FUCK PRIVACY MATTERS 123. and FUCK FREE TRIPLE SCORE .COM...DONT DO IT PPL.

So now that this is off my chest I can breath again I love you all....

Back At it

so i would like to apologize for my early morniing rant, it was so LD. but thats why it is a rant right. so I missed class this morning because when i woke up at 1030am after just getting off work at 6am....do i really have to go on. so i am really loving this blog thing i just posted my first insert in my planet and i think it turned out pretty good. I want to thank my homie whitney for bringing blogspot into my life lol... and i am a follwer of her blog and if u read mine u will probably like hers. well thats all i have for now but I may be back before the day is out.


LOVE

Thought§

So I am up late because I have to work to survive and I am thinking about my life. Well really I am thinking about going to sleep but that's another story. As I type I am dosing off. But anyway I want to reflect on nothing and somwthing at the same time like how I work myself to death(new blog starts tomorrow) be there. I really just felt like nagging and babbling then when I started I decided I just wanted e understood. Some times I feel like I don't belong but hey that's life and if u can't live with it u will die. So I try to take the good with the bad. Just need sleep. Really I think that is all there is to it. I have had a lot on my mind but nowhere near enough time to sleep it off. Thoughts r like a cold they linger until u get enough sleep to fight back so I plan on forming an army today cuz I want to sleep my life away

SOooooo

So I decided that this blog is for random thoughts and has a lot less structure.but if u visit my planet there is a very structured lay out that u can check out every day. Well almost everyday

i dont know what to blogg about

So I have started this blog and I thought it was a great idea but now I am not so sure because I do not have any idea what I want to blog about. I'm truly blown. I have no idea how often I am going to post and I really have no idea if I even want ppl to read the mindless dribble that may come from this. I could post poems but who would really want to read them or even know what they were about. Then I thought maybe I could start discussions about random things. This is not a joke. I just thought of a way to run my blog. If I call it a show I can make it a show. I can give u a little celebrity news, the word of the day, a poem, a discussionn and so on and so forth. So yea this is going to be quite interesting. I hope that I can get the participation of the public. Anybody who knows me knows that I can start a pretty good discussion. SO ill be back later to start "The Fire Strength and Words Show".

WE GOT THIS!!

So Here We Go

I really dont know where to start so i will start by saying I stared this blog to put myself out there. I have not been able to do so yet and i will not be able to do so right now. I just want people to know that I am here and ready to be heard so u hope that u are ready to listen....



WELCOME TO THE FIRE, STRENGTH AND WORDS SHOW!!!! GET WITH IT