The Death of My Future

If you dont know who this young man is I suggest you turn on a TV, Radio, internet anything and look at it. This is Derrion Albert and this young man was beaten to death last month by a group of teenagers, and yes it was recorded and put on the internet(our generation I guess). Just talkin about this is making me sad and making me want to cry. Please research him for me so you can know why I am saddened. But recently I have been rethinking my desire to move to Chicago and I really think that this has mad my decision for me. I have never really felt this way about these things..I have watched fights on YouTube all the time but this one touched me. It is disgusting how our blck youth are killing one another and no one seems to want to talk...How can I dream of raising my children in a place where they may not live to see 17 y/o. Something needs to be done because if this is the future...the world is in danger....I cant type anymore My eyes are clouded by my tears.

Pissed....

Dell just screwed me...like really bad...let me tell you my story.


So my homegirl bought me the Sims 3 and anyone who knows me knows I am a Sims fanatic. Well I download the game on my new Dell Inspiron mini 10v. I go to play the game and the computer tells me the graphics card is not found. So at 4 something in the AM I call Dell. And obviously at this time of the morning there is no one on Dell's payroll that speaks English as there first language, But I deal with it. I talk to one person after the next. Then I get to this guy who seems to be helping me but I guess not....

I tell him I need 2GHz and I keep saying I need gigahertz, he is just saying gigz so i figure we r on the same damn page...and we were but this M-effer was in the GB RAM book and I was in the GHz book. So I just spent $45 om 2 GB RAM that I dont need. So i go to try to cancel it but guess what...the people who speak English dont come in until 8AM....BS total BS.....what happened to 24 hour customer service. By the time I get to talk to someone it will be too late to cancel my order.

I would say the money is not an issue but it is if I am getting something I do not want or need...and I still cant play the damn Sims.....

FAIL

I Say This With A Straight Face

WHY do I always let myself get used up to the point where there is nothing left for me. WHY do ppl fail to believe that I have feelings too, no they kno I have feelings they just try to test me. I have gone thru so many friends in these past 22 years of my life and now I realize that my friendship is too hard. If u never had a friend who cared enough about you to check on you, to offer their assistance and just be there without asking for a damn thing in return then u r not ready for a friends like me. I have had sudden breaks and hard breaks from friends but none hurt worse than the ones who just don't understand who you are. I am a real person, I don't get any more real. I laugh hard, play hard, cry hard, and I fall hard. But I need a friend now. I need someone who can be my backbone because that is hard to find. They all say they are different for me to only find out they just have a different name with different skin but the same mind set. It amazes me how most of my friendships r so one sided. Only because I allow them to be. I play like on a hard ass but I'm really a kitten. I hurt just like everyone else but no one seems to realize this or care. As I write this I am however realizing that there is hope for me to find that friend. I just need to be open. So this is what I have come to. I want to thank the ppl who understand my pain and understand that sometimes I need a break too. And I want to thank the people who don't want to take the time to understand me but simply want to reap the benefits of our friendships. Because these two groups of ppl are the ones who make me a better friend and I am more than open to that.