They R N My Head...

Thursday, July 30, 2009

More than ANNOYED...

Why can't I have along day of stupidity that ends in relaxation. That shit never can and apparently never will happen. The more annoyed I am throughout the day the more annoyed I will be by the time I have to lie my head down. I am so sick of money and having to pay bills that I shouldn't have to pay. I am tired of having a broke as man. I love him don't get me wrong but he has given himself way more shit than he can handle finacially and now I am stuck paying half of all of the shit he said he could handle. That gets on my fuckin nerves. I worked more hours this week than he did. I don't get over time and I am trying to keep myself out of debt but I sit here and my credit (because of him) is slowly depleiting. I don't get help with any of the bills he helps to run up but yet and still I am forced to do what I have to do. Fuck that shit. Just fucki it...

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Contagious and They Spread

So I was sitting here at work thinking...you know that's how I live my life...always thinkin about shit well I was thinking about things that are weird like...
*Smiles are contagious- like if u r upset someone can make u smile simply by smiling hard enough at you
*Yawns are Contagious- like even the thought of a yawn makes u want to yawn... Everytime I type the word yawn I feel the urge
*Itches spread- like when u have a itch in one place once that itch is relieved u start to itch in other places...I even read about some ones noes itching and mine started to itch

Do you have any more weird contagious and spreading things

Friday, July 17, 2009

Not Feeling This Shit Here

So I have been at work all night well since 3am and I am so sleepy. I hope my relieve comes in early. This fight is beconing a losing battle. Thank God for Steve Harvey because my work buddoes have failed me. Damn

Controllin Myself

Mind wanders
Every shit I right starts like this
Because my mind is and orphan on a lonely trip
It strolls thru the dark and leaves me lifeless
I can stand it
Can't conprehend it can't explain it
I'm living
I'm dying
I'm standing
But mainly
I'm tryin to control myself

Thursday, July 16, 2009

I Got To Have IT....



Marc Jacobs Lock It Pocket Tote
This shit folds into a wallet

*Sigh*

Wat team I don't have one...I don't have friends that die hard for me like I die hard for them and I think that is something I will never get used to so I have to change. I have to make ppl see that I don't wanna b a giver anymore I want to me a sitter. I want to sit and wait for other ppl to do shit and that should b fine but it won't be. I'm sick of calling the bank and getting the rudest person in there on the phone when my money isn't right. I'm sick of giving to my friends just for them to say fuck u until they need something again. And I am tired of life. If I was the suicide type I think this post would be my going away present to the world but since I'm not its just another rant about how my life no matter how simple it may seem is complicated. Shit I want a man who will take care of me and give to me without looking at his bank account. I need friends who want to help me and not just party and drink with me. I need to start over. Because if I could go back to 5 years ago I would have all of that and more because I would do things that make me happy. And right now in my life I am not happy and I damn sure deserve to be.

Obsessed

So I a obsessed with blogtv.com....that shit is bananas...I personally am not down for talking to a camera and trying to read ppls comments all at once but I love it. I think you guys should check it out....Oh and if you read either of my blogs on the reg please become a follower.....I would truly love to know who I am entertaining....and tell a friend....

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

I Should Be Sleep But...

Well I should be sleep but I just wanna talk. I realized today that what's cute to some is not cute to all. Mind you I am not ugly but I guess I'm not what the average dude would call cute. I hold myself to a high standard and I love the people who r around me and let me kno I am beautiful. But I guess those r just the people who kno me. I feel like I pride myself on not being ugly but it hurts when ppl don't agree that u r cute. I don't kno how many ppl feel me on that but that was on my mind and I think that is why I am still awake. I love the ppl who say I am beautiful but r they just saying that because they kno me or did they think that when they first saw me. IDK. Some ppl like my bestie, my dude and some of my closer friends have told me that they always thought I was beautiful. But now I'm getting sleepy see venting and ranting is better than masturbation if u need to sleep.

But befor I go to sleep I have to say one more thing. Why are we still on the light skinned dark skinned brown skinned thing. Yes I do believe that anything darked that light is often over looked and just like lighter girls we are always assumed to be something other than black if we are pretty of have nice skin or curly hair. Why can't I be black. Black men need to stop downing women. Your preference is your preference but just because I'm brown does not make me ugly. Get with it. Briwn is. Back. I love all od my black sisters and we need to stand together and let these niggas kno that u won't turn us against one another.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Now for Whats on MY Mind

So I sit and I wonder
Soul sits at ease
Wil I make an impact
Or will the world just freeze
Can I make the world see
No because I can't even make you
Know the things I need
For me to do what I want to do
No I'm not happy
But I'm not hurt either
I'm just not in the right place
For me to say that I need you
I care about you
Way more than you kno
But u kno me the G
I can't let those feelings show

Monday, July 13, 2009

Poem By a Great Friend of Mine....Love ya Mr. Roach

THE TRUTH

TEARS FALL LIKE RAINDROPS IN A THUNDERSTORM
HEARTS POUND WITH THE FORCE OF THUNDER
LOVE IS DRENCHED WITH PAIN
TO GAIN SOMETHING IS TO LOSE EVERYTHING
TO GAIN NOTHING & LOSE EVERYTHING IS THE LOST OF LOVE
TO HAVE ONE'S TRUST IS A HONOR
TO LOSE ONE'S TRUST IS TO BE DISCHARGED WITHOUT HONOR
LIES ARE THE "CARDS IN THE GAME"
TO STAY IN THE GAME YOU MUST PLAY EACH CARD AT THE RIGHT TIME
WHEN THE OPPOSITE LOVE IS SPRUNG OFF LIES
!!GAME OVER!!
LOVE COMES WITH LIES
LIKE THE SKY COMES WITH CLOUDS
AT TIMES THE SKY MAY BE CLEAR
THEN TIMES IT GETS FLOODED WITH CLOUDS
A HEART GETS CRUSHED LIKE ANTS WITH EVERY STEP IN TIME
SOME SURVIVE IN THE CRACKS IN THE SIDEWALKS
WHEN THE COAST LOOKS CLEAR ANOTHER HEART COMES TO PREDICT THE FORCAST...

copyright April 22, 2009

By The one and only Mr. Chris Roach.....MUAH

See I do show love to others ppl LOL

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Brain Drain

Well this is where I let out a few random thoughts. It won't make sense it may be a little funny but its just a way for me to empty my brain...love hate friends enemies love lost home friends water water water reaching out for me I am so fuckin depressed I need help I need friends I need love. I'm so lost. Joy anger brain brain brain sorrow. Ill be one tough act to follow. No followers. Relationships. Damn. Fuck relationships. Tears. Loneliness flashing lights beauty. Inner outer friends. Hope faith God the Devil food hunger money ha ha ha ha. I need real time. I love my friends. I need a new life a new day. A new a new me. Short hair. I want my hair back. I digress. I want to smile smile smile smile smile smile damnit damnit just smile. Please no tears. Stop don't cry. Stay cool its just a brain drain chill out. Deep breathes breathe breathe. Old friends. Weird ppl. Y do I always meet fucked up ppl. Y do I want to be liked by ppl. I want to be a bitch. Y can't I be mean. Y can't he just leave me. I need help lately I've been hard to reach. Where am I. I'm not answering myself. Beauty inner. Outer. Do I have either damn damn. D. A. M. N. What in the fuck is in my mind.


Breathe

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Just UP.....CR.Dreamin'

Well I am up and awake(I worked last night) and it is so weird I have a Dream about these Creative Recreations....
Creative Recreations
Galow Hi


So Now I Want Them!!!!

*Yawn*

So it is 5:50am and I have been up since 6:45pm. And I don't get off work until 9am. Why did I sign up for this. Like what the hell was I thinking. I am so sleepy and I just want to ly down and sleep my life away. I only have 3 more hours. I will let u kno if I can make it.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Shoes and Bags I Really Like...



Marc by Marc Jacobs
Tote-ally Miss Marc Tote Bag

Blowfish
Wow Wow black boots

DKNYC
Ada leopard flats

NineWest
Bonfire black pumps

Like Really...?

I am so tired of people. Like we were friends and I thought we were pretty close. I started to open up to you and what do I get, a fuckin slap in the face. We don't talk for days and then u try to just show up in my life. Look I'm thru. I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt and give you the friendship I thought u needed but I guess I was not good enough. I know u don't read my blog but I am writing this to release you from my life. I am done so so so so done. If u need me in here but I am just a listening vessel now. I do little talking and not releasing.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

I Think Im Going to Heck With ...PEACHES...LOL & Deadlies

Sometimes you can learn more about a person by what they don’t tell you. Sometimes you can learn a lot from the things they just make up. If you are tagged with this Meme, lie to me. Then tag 7 other folks (one for each deadly sin) and hope they can lie.

Pride:
What is your biggest contribution to the world?
My blog is my biggest contribution...If only mre people read it the world would be a better place.
Envy
What do your coworkers have that you wish was yours?
Well one of them has really long hair and I wish I hadnt cut mine...one has a Ipod touch that is effin amazing, and many of them have cars...I wish I had a car....
Gluttony
What did you eat last night?
I ate lasagna...the microwaved kind...but believe me when I say i wanted something else and something more.
Lust
What really lights your fire?
Guys that smoke like a chimney and smell like liquor
Anger
What is the last thing that really pissed you off?
My Hair...it wont listen to me
Greed
Name something you hoard and keep from others:
I am not a hoarder I love to share
Sloth
What’s the laziest thing you ever did?
Took the elevator to the second floor even though i got to the stairs first

Thursday, July 2, 2009

WTH!!!!!

Don't u hate being waken by stupidity? Sometimes ppl should just think before they do stuff. Yall don't ever do stuff together but today it takes two ppl to go do something. I had to get that out of my system.

Just Up

So I'm about to go to bed but I want to clear my mind. So I will start by saying I truly love the people in my life. If I ever seem as if I have an attitude with u I don't. I just have my days. And some days I seriously don't want to be bothered. Well I just gave myself a mani pedi and I am so relaxed. Night

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

RIP Michael Jackson...Forever My KING


"He's Out Of My Life"

[1st Verse]
He's Out Of My Life
He's Out Of My Life
And I Don't Know Whether To Laugh Or Cry
I Don't Know Whether To Live Or Die
And It Cuts Like A Knife
He's Out Of My Life

[2nd Verse]
It's Out Of My Hands
It's Out Of My Hands
To Think For Many Years He Was Here
And I Took Him For Granted I Was So Care Free
Now The Way That It Stands
He's Out Of My Hands

[Bridge]
So I've Learned That Love's Not Possession
And I've Learned That Love Won't Wait
Now I've Learned That Love Needs Expression
But I Learned Too Late

[3rd Verse]
He's Out Of My Life
He's Out Of My Life
Damned Indecision And Cursed Pride
Kept My Love For Him Locked Deep Inside
And It Cuts Like A Knife
He's Out Of My Life

TEAR...I LOVE YOU MICHAEL